Sanil
pissed in his pants... he'd often piss in his pants, it was part of wot
they called his illness. He would do things and they would tell him wot
it was. But he never understands. Or cares. They expain that to him too
- that he doesnt understand becoz he doesnt care – he doesnt care becoz
he doesnt understnd. It was a vicuous circle. And that was all part of
his illness. He felt warm where he'd pissed. He knew soon it would go
cold and he'd feel clammy. He didnt care people called him silly. Or
half wit. But more insulting words did piss him off. 'Piss off' he was
told was an insulting word so he wasn't suppose to use it. But he wanted
to be insulting. They had been insulting to him. They explain that that didnt
matter, that he shouldnt care. shouldn't care? So were they asking him
to stay sick? Why could others be insulting to him but he couldnt be
insulting to them? He didnt understand but he did care. Did that mean he
was only half sick? Or did it mean that he had started to break that
vicious circle? The warmth had gone now. He was cold and clammy there.
He thought of taking his trousers and pants off. But if he did they
would get angry. They would misunderstand why he had taken his trousers off. Or they wouldnt care why. They wouldnt care yet they werent sick. Only he was.
...and some of his friends were sick too. He sat there wet and clammy.
He could smell the smell. Someone came over... it was his park bench.
Why did they want to sit on his park bench? "Fuck off," he said
to the woman. She's looking shocked but he doesn't care. "fuck off, " he
says again, smiling at how powerful the word is making him feel. She
goes away. "fuck off, fuck off, fuck off!" he shouts loudly and laughs.
But he didnt want to scare her. He shouldnt have said 'fuck off'. He
wants to say sorry.... sorry sorry sorry. He runs after her and calls
out "soooooorry" But it is not powerful like "fuck off". She's running
away. They always say how 'sorry' is a big powerful word and u urself
have to be big and powerful to be able to use it. A man is coming over.
It's the park keeper. The park keeper must have heard him say 'fuck off'
He knows hte park keeper. They have often talked. He's nice. They smile
at each other. The park keeper looks down at the wet patch. "Pissed
again?" asks the park keeper. He gets the joke and they both laugh. The
park keeper doesnt care. But he isnt sick. He just doesnt care. But he
does understand. Which must be why he hasnt got any vicious circle to
break. The park keeper is on his phone now. Soon someone'll come and get
him and then he'll be taken away and they'll change his trousers and
pants. He likes the park keeper. "Sorry," he says. "fuck off" says the
park keeper. He looks hurt. "Hey," says the park keeper. "sorry, i was
joking!" They both smile. "Sorry" "fuck off, sorry" "sorry, fuck off!"
"sorry." "Sorry sorry fuck off" "sorry," ..... he likes the park keeper
and they dance in the park singing "fuck off, sorry" at the top of their
voices. People give them funny looks but somehow its all ok and
everything is sorry fuck off great. ...so just fuck off... sorry :) !!
........................
1) Sanil Pissed in his pants
Sanil
pissed in his pants... he'd often piss in his pants, it was part of wot
they called his illness. He would do things and they would tell him wot
it was. But he never understands. Or cares. They expain that to him too
- that he doesnt understand becoz he doesnt care – he doesnt care becoz
he doesnt understnd. It was a vicuous circle. And that was all part of
his illness. He felt warm where he'd pissed. He knew soon it would go
cold and he'd feel clammy. He didnt care people called him silly. Or
half wit. But more insulting words did piss him off. 'Piss off' he was
told was an insulting word so he wasn't suppose to use it. But he wanted
to be insulting. They had been insulting to him. They explain that that didnt
matter, that he shouldnt care. shouldn't care? So were they asking him
to stay sick? Why could others be insulting to him but he couldnt be
insulting to them? He didnt understand but he did care. Did that mean he
was only half sick? Or did it mean that he had started to break that
vicious circle? The warmth had gone now. He was cold and clammy there.
He thought of taking his trousers and pants off. But if he did they
would get angry. They would misunderstand why he had taken his trousers off. Or they wouldnt care why. They wouldnt care yet they werent sick. Only he was.
...and some of his friends were sick too. He sat there wet and clammy.
He could smell the smell. Someone came over... it was his park bench.
Why did they want to sit on his park bench? "Fuck off," he said
to the woman. She's looking shocked but he doesn't care. "fuck off, " he
says again, smiling at how powerful the word is making him feel. She
goes away. "fuck off, fuck off, fuck off!" he shouts loudly and laughs.
But he didnt want to scare her. He shouldnt have said 'fuck off'. He
wants to say sorry.... sorry sorry sorry. He runs after her and calls
out "soooooorry" But it is not powerful like "fuck off". She's running
away. They always say how 'sorry' is a big powerful word and u urself
have to be big and powerful to be able to use it. A man is coming over.
It's the park keeper. The park keeper must have heard him say 'fuck off'
He knows hte park keeper. They have often talked. He's nice. They smile
at each other. The park keeper looks down at the wet patch. "Pissed
again?" asks the park keeper. He gets the joke and they both laugh. The
park keeper doesnt care. But he isnt sick. He just doesnt care. But he
does understand. Which must be why he hasnt got any vicious circle to
break. The park keeper is on his phone now. Soon someone'll come and get
him and then he'll be taken away and they'll change his trousers and
pants. He likes the park keeper. "Sorry," he says. "fuck off" says the
park keeper. He looks hurt. "Hey," says the park keeper. "sorry, i was
joking!" They both smile. "Sorry" "fuck off, sorry" "sorry, fuck off!"
"sorry." "Sorry sorry fuck off" "sorry," ..... he likes the park keeper
and they dance in the park singing "fuck off, sorry" at the top of their
voices. People give them funny looks but somehow its all ok and
everything is sorry fuck off great. ...so just fuck off... sorry :) !!
........................
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